Back to work I Go!

Well after weeks and weeks of pure bliss, reality has reared its ugly head. Tomorrow I join the workforce once again. Am I happy? No..not at all. I love my job and I'm sure once I get there I will be happy to do what I love, but I will be thinking all day about my little girl. I haven't been away from her for more than a hour since her birth and to put many miles and hours between us is not going to make working easy. That is why if you are able to stay home, DO IT!!! who cares about being a superwomen who does it all!! It's less full filling I guarantee.
BUT, I am ready technically. I have a awesome baby sitter. She took care of my son and now will be taking 50% of my daughters care..well maybe 30% another 30% going to my husband who will have to do the B-shift of care until I get home. Looking back I really should of made him do more. O well he will learn on the job.  Breast milk? I have about 70oz ready to go. That was from pumping once a day for the past 30-40days. So if you want more, I encourage more pumps a day, but SOOOO much work, why do that?  If you are going to pump at work? Diapers? check: Extra clothes? check: bottles? check.
My one thing that I have been going back and forth on is the pacifier. On one hand I do not want her to be stressed out away from us and have no way to soothe herself. On the other, my dad is a Dentist and may flip out if he finds out I am using one. We have tried it a few times, and she reluctantly sucks on it. If she wants it, its there, if not, she seems to like to suck on her fingers.
SO... I am making 5 bottles at 4oz each..she doesn't seem to eat that much, but I don't want her to starve and if she doesn't eat it all that's fine. I know my supply is in my breasts, and as long as I have that I am good.
Here comes the real work..pumping and working. We will see how I deal with it. I know I will never supplement with Formula, but I am wondering if I freak out like the mothers I speak too, or will I coast through the next two years. Time will tell... I will keep you posted.