Eye on the Supply

So now that I have been pumping ALOT, I have a visual on my breast milk. Some days I pump out 25 oz somedays 18oz. This makes me want to panic, but I won't . Well, maybe I won't. It's hard not to think that I might be making less than I should or that she may someday run out. But my personal lactation consultant ( me) tells me that I am fine and stop thinking about it. My little princess is fine at the breast and is always satisfied. Now I need to teach husband that every drop I pump is important. Last night I came home and he had started feeding her. 5oz bottle! Of which she only took two oz!!! So were did that three oz. go? Down the drain!! I am beginning to see why women call it a milk stash. It is to be kept preserved and perfect and only touched when needed. So after a quick late night lesson on my milk supply I think my husband is on board.  But I will keep you posted

               My "stash"❤😋                         

Back to the Daily Grind

Well my summer of bliss has ended. I have been back to work for two weeks. I did shed a few tears leaving my little girl in the hands of our babysitter, but what is a working women to do.  I was prepared. I had about 60 oz in the freezer, and I really only pumped once a day for about 5 weeks. I was a good working mom, I made all her bottles ready to go. I made five four ounce bottles!!! That was definitely overkill!! She only drank three bottles, and only three ounces out of them.  Even with all my knowledge my momma brain tends to trump my knowledge on the subject. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. I've have Pediatricians ask me why their 6 month old babies want to breastfeed so much. I have to ask them if they have started giving them food. The answer was no surprisingly ..." add food" I would say.  I would think " wow, how did she not know that?" Now I know.. she was thinking  with her mom brain. Mom brains are always the best brains to think with, its important to use your instincts. Well I know that a exclusively breastfed baby isn't going to take more than three oz at a feed especially at 10weeks, but I still made all those bottles. OWELL :)
So adding REAL pumping to the day is ALOT of work! I am not going to lie, sitting at home and breastfeeding is so much easier than any other form of feeding, but that's just my humble opinion. I pump about 20-25 oz in 12 hrs. Even though I am good with pumping, I still have a little voice in the back of my head saying "what if you run out!!!!!!!" I wonder if that "Mother Guilt" will ever be silenced? I was able to stay home with my son for 15 months and I remember thinking " should I be working?" Maybe I'll never be happy with my work choices, but I do find comfort in the fact that my little one is only breast milk fed. I like to think that even though I am not the one always feeding her, she remembers me when she drinks her breast milk.
Being back at work, does remind me of how much I love to teach breastfeeding education and help moms latch their new little ones. I now have a very fresh memory of those sore nipples and the burning pain of a c-section. I think I'm a little more delicate with the moms now.
My husband has been in charge of the kids from 3:30-10:00pm  while I am at work, and has done such a wonderful job. This is all new to him, and he has been fantastic. When I think of how much work the two of us have to put into these two kids, it really does make me realize how lucky I am.  He loves taking care of our kids and putting the baby to sleep. If I could lend him out to all those single moms out their I would. Those are the moms that should right books on how to jungle work and kids. Whatever their secrets are, we should all be doing.
So, so far so good. We have many many weeks and months to go, but I'm making it so far.

Back to work I Go!

Well after weeks and weeks of pure bliss, reality has reared its ugly head. Tomorrow I join the workforce once again. Am I happy? No..not at all. I love my job and I'm sure once I get there I will be happy to do what I love, but I will be thinking all day about my little girl. I haven't been away from her for more than a hour since her birth and to put many miles and hours between us is not going to make working easy. That is why if you are able to stay home, DO IT!!! who cares about being a superwomen who does it all!! It's less full filling I guarantee.
BUT, I am ready technically. I have a awesome baby sitter. She took care of my son and now will be taking 50% of my daughters care..well maybe 30% another 30% going to my husband who will have to do the B-shift of care until I get home. Looking back I really should of made him do more. O well he will learn on the job.  Breast milk? I have about 70oz ready to go. That was from pumping once a day for the past 30-40days. So if you want more, I encourage more pumps a day, but SOOOO much work, why do that?  If you are going to pump at work? Diapers? check: Extra clothes? check: bottles? check.
My one thing that I have been going back and forth on is the pacifier. On one hand I do not want her to be stressed out away from us and have no way to soothe herself. On the other, my dad is a Dentist and may flip out if he finds out I am using one. We have tried it a few times, and she reluctantly sucks on it. If she wants it, its there, if not, she seems to like to suck on her fingers.
SO... I am making 5 bottles at 4oz each..she doesn't seem to eat that much, but I don't want her to starve and if she doesn't eat it all that's fine. I know my supply is in my breasts, and as long as I have that I am good.
Here comes the real work..pumping and working. We will see how I deal with it. I know I will never supplement with Formula, but I am wondering if I freak out like the mothers I speak too, or will I coast through the next two years. Time will tell... I will keep you posted.