The Hardest Three Months of My Life

Today is my first Born's birthday. He is eight!!! Happy Birthday Son.
As I do every year I think about that first day, and the first three months of his life. That's because the first 90days of being a mother was the worst! I had no idea what I was doing!! He cried all day unless I held him. So I would just sit planted on my couch holding him. I was not a LC yet so my knowledge on the subject of breastfeeding was pretty much at 0. In the first three days I was sure I wasn't giving him enough, I begged the nurse for a bottle, which they didn't give me until right before I left the hospital. They also didn't educate me on breastfeeding, which would of been more helpful. My nipples were so sore I was sure that breastfeeding was torture. I would hold my breath and watch the clock, counting down the seconds until I could take him off. I came from a family that breastfed, and my Aunt gave me many books on breastfeeding all of which I didn't read. The only thing that kept me going was that my best friend did it, and I figured if she could do it, I could do it. She talked about how great it felt when they would empty you and how easy it was. I had the opposite experience of course. I gave ALOT of formula and soy no less..which now I am dealing with his asthma and eczema both I believe came from the soy formula. Many, many times I wanted to stop, or at least have someone tell me to stop. That did not happen, everyone said to continue, I don't think anyone knew how much I hated it, but I felt like it was all over my face.
How did this person ever continue breastfeeding? Well, I have never thought anything in life was easy, I figured this was just another hardship of life, but more than that, this little beautiful baby LOVED IT! He loved breastfeeding :) He would sit there for hours cuddling and eating. He would play and laugh, he always wanted total silence while he ate and would always fall asleep while eating. So I continued.
When we reached three months things started to look brighter. He was stronger and would eat faster. I was coming out of my fog and started to enjoy the experience. I still had no idea what I was doing, but I did know that when I breastfed him, he was happy, and a happy baby makes a happy momma.
So when a mom tells me she doesn't think she can go on and its too hard, I think, wow she's only been doing this a few hours, I felt like that for three months! Does that make me a better person because I continued? No, I tend to be stubborn and giving up is not something I do easily. What it makes me is lucky. I am so grateful for my little man, who didn't like a pacifier or a bottle and who preferred to breastfeed. He made me a excellent LC who understands sore nipples, sleepless nights, self-doubt, and the appreciation of education on the subject.
So thank you to my son who made me the women I am today.
I Love You Forever and ever..

Enjoy your Maternity Leave from Day One!!

SO many times while I am working, I have new mothers, with 24hour old babies asking about pumping for work. I realize this may be their only chance to speak to a LC and they want to be prepared, but I fear that they never fully enjoy their short time away from work. I myself took 12 weeks off, I am half way through and could definitely take another 6 months off. Yesterday I was reminded that I have a job when I had to call in and figure out exactly when I was coming back. It was a little bothersome, but had to be done. So to all those new moms, enjoy every moment that you have when your home with your new little one. My new little girl is starting to smile at me and coo, she is bigger and going through her onsies pretty fast. We have seen as many movies as possible, and we just came back from a trip to the mountains. All of this we have enjoyed and breastfed through. The best part about being in the mountains is that we could sit outside on the deck of the Cabin we were in and breastfeed. Pumping I haven't been consistent on, but now that I am about 6 weeks away from going back to work, I am going to start being more diligent. My husband has enjoyed giving the baby a bottle of expressed milk when I go for my evening run. He felt that it was important for him to feed the baby as part of his bonding wtih her. As much as I didn't want to give that  up, she was already 5 weeks old, and again sooner than I would like she will be going to a baby sitter while I work. SO to all new moms who are concerned about work, chances are you are a good employee, other wise why would you worry, and your work will be patient wtih you and wait for you to come back with no issues. Most moms really don't have breastfeeding down until they are about to go back to work, which means it is very even more difficult to leave the home and go back to work. The moral of my story is, when preparing yourself for having your baby forget about work whether your taking four weeks or 12 weeks or half a year, cherish every day and every moment..and take pictures!!!